Just call him "Space Snoop"

The engines roared on the NASA space craft. the navigation tower Held the tradition of counting down to blast off, and Snoop Dog held fast to his space suit as he prepared to shoot his new video, "Snoop Poop on da Moon Nigga!" on the moon.

They had been planing this occasion for years and only recently sent the first black rapper to the moon to shoot his music video.

Monte Somblakguy says "Well I'll be a monkey's brother in law! Snoop dog on the moon." He was speechless after that.

Many Scientists as well as padestrians disliked that fact that someone was using space travel for such a worthless occasion. One civilian even threatend to strap himself to the rocket so that it would imbalance the aerodynamics of the shuttle and send it plummeting back to earth.

Even so, they pulled off the mission and successfully landed the first rapper ever onto our only natural satelite.

"Eminem was a worthy canidate," Says Winkle T. Nutsack "but he was too white and would melt if he got to close to the sun."

We've all had our differences in the past, but this is just one of those things that you really have to think about.

Bush Accuses Baby of Secret Document Theft

On july 17, 2005, president George W.Bush had Peter Willie, a new born infant from Podunk NY arrested for larsony, grand theft auto, assult, battery, Fourth degree murder, and littering when he found important Draft Leagalizing papers in the todlers diapers. Although only two of the six charges were dropped when his naked lawyer was assigned to him, The baby faced 25 to life without bail.

"Well this is just a bunch of horse shit!" Shouted Mary Kwitekontrary, "That baby did nothing! even if he did do it, they're just a few silly document papers!"

Almost all of the other people agreed with Mary until they found her brutally blugeoned corpse tied to that back to a brand new Ford Escort with an American flag waving from her forhead. They then agreed to have the baby executed for his trechery to our nation.

Although there were many supporters for Mary's decision, there were some that stayed with their oppinion.

"That baby would have only become one of the many millions of fat lazy people who complain about this fast food nation while he stuffs his fat little mouth with pork rinds and gravy." Sais photographer, Captain Poopdopius. "I'm glad they got rid of that little brat before he became a fast food manager!"

Since there have only been a handful of supporting Americans, the baby's death will surely to come to him. But until then, they will keep fighting for what they feel is rightful justice.

Group of Gangster Clowns Strike Again

On June 7, 2005, the bodies of Raechel Cummins, Zach Griffintoon and Raymon Vole were found dangling by their throats with inflated baloon animals in an alleyway of 200th street Manhattan. Investigators were baffled when the only evidence that they found was a generously portioned happy meal and a fantastic four figurine of Mister Fantastic. One suspect is the well known uhndead cobra charmer who refereds to the name "Vipre Morte", or death viper in english. His
picturehttp://www.yoocrew.com/rich/weird/clowns/clown2.jpg">picture> was found stapled to the forhead of Raechel.

Dean Merryl, padestrian, quotes, "I've never seen anything like this before. Like some psycho mad man from McDonalds or somehting."

There has been reasonable speculation that a Ronald poser is on the loose and wants revenge for the killing of one of his brethren, Peter C. Jonson, a unicycler, in a Police shoot out that he was caught in.

Spite or not, the MPD is cracking down on all halequins, including circus clows, party clowns and even magic using clowns in order to keep the peace in the already chaotic city.

"I don't care if the world was after them," Says Kat McPoop, "This place isn't safe for me or anyone else. I feel sorry for the unfortunate ones that have to live in this terrifying city because they have no where wlse to go."

As for the three victims, they were known to have severe cases of Insomnia and Depression, often iscolating themselves from the world.

This is just another hint of information that will give sleuths the edge that they need to limit the acts of terror that has so quickly striken the country.

Group of Ganster Clowns Strike Again

On June 7, 2005, the bodies of Raechel Cummins, Zach Griffintoon and Raymon Vole were found dangling by their throats with inflated baloon animals in an alleyway of 200th street Manhattan. Investigators were baffled when the only evidence that they found was a generously portioned happy meal and a fantastic four figurine of Mister Fantastic. One suspect has been named for the murder of Ms.Cummins though there are more for the remaning two. A Clown my the name of "Vipre Morte" or Death Viper, left his very own
href="http://www.yoocrew.com/rich/weird/clowns/clown2.jpg">picture stapled to the forhead of his victim. Morte has been a known cobra charmer this is the only known fact of him.

Dean Merryl, padestrian, quotes, "I've never seen anything like this before. Like some psycho mad man from McDonalds or somehting."

There has been reasonable speculation that a Ronald poser is on the loose and wants revenge for the killing of one of his brethren, Peter C. Jonson, a unicycler, in a Police shoot out that he was caught in.

Spite or not, the MPD is cracking down on all halequins, including circus clows, party clowns and even magic using clowns in order to keep the peace in the already chaotic city.

"I don't care if the world was after them," Says Kat McPoop, "This place isn't safe for me or anyone else. I feel sorry for the unfortunate ones that have to live in this terrifying city because they have no where wlse to go."

As for the three victims, they were known to have severe cases of Insomnia and Depression, often iscolating themselves from the world.

This is just another hint of information that will give sleuths the edge that they need to limit the acts of terror that has so quickly striken the country.

Baby's Slain in Greusome Homicides

The elderly were though to be good trustworthy citizens that loved the presence of the youthful. Just goes to show how much we know.

Two slaughtered babies were found in the Providence section of Rhode Island. One of them, a victim of a single blow to the lower spine and the other, victimized by the execution of an intentional car attack.

78 year old Geena Baker was the murderer of Spencer Recneps. Spencer was killed instantly when she punted him for reasons unknown. Though this clip is not for the weary of heart, we show you
exclusive footage of the babies death when a video casset was found under Geenas' mattress.

The second horrible murder was performed by the locally notorious Jim Jimaroo. While the innocent tot was doing his business in the street, Jim came from nowhere and plowed him into oblivion. Again, we will show
footage caught by a well place security camera, but it is not for the weak of heart.

"I don't know whats going on with our elders." Says concerned mother, Terry Shribergoop. "It's like they're posessed by the devil."

Both of the killers were found guilty when the videos were shown in the courtroom as evidence.

"I'm glad they're both gone, but who else will do that? How will we know if others don't find this fair and decide to revolt? what will happen then?"

Nobody knows...

Case of the Murderous Gorilla Solved!

Bobblesalami, as many of us know by now, was the gentle gorilla of the Frankenwiener Zoo that mysteriously went on a murderous rampage killing many civilians. Several days ago, the history of the murder victims was recovered, revealing some disturbing information.

All seven victims were criminals in themselves. Each person was tried and convicted of child molestation and rape, each of them set free within a matter of days.

"It seems that Bobble didn't like that fact that children were hurt and mentally scarred by people that could easily overpower them." Says Backel McScratcher

Manyy people think that justice was served and all was right again. But the parents of the victims were not so pleased.

"That crazy monkey killed my little boy!" Yelled an angry Ralph Allmatouchhole. "If it wern't for that monster, my kid would have still been walking and talking with his family and friends." Jerry Allmatouchhole was the 35 year old son of Ralph.

But fate was equal for both sides. Wasn't it?

"They lost thir children and we lost a super cool dude." Says Jellybean Kilkowillie, "thoes people should have no right to say that they lost something because what they raised were not children, but monsters that terrorized the town, raping helpless children."

Some people did not choose sides becuase they know what it's like to lose one that they were close to, but they also felt the loss of a greatly respected friend.

Even though the case was solved and many heaved their sighes of relief, there is only one question that lingers through the minds of many: If worse came to worse, who would you side with?

Flying Baby Meets an Untimely Fate

Sparks flew and fire lit up the midnight sky when the explosion of a NASA rocket shook an entire state. The baby, stepping up to the expectations of rescuing the crew of four from the out-of-control rocket, carried the rocket away from its unmarked target.

The crew was safely grounded, but the heroic toddler never made it back.

"The rocket was still being carried off," says scientist Rupert Trepur. "But when it was near the o-zone, it blew up in the baby's hands."

The poor tot was only trying to be a good sumariton. But fate had other plans for him.

Though scraps of the rocket were later recovered, the body of the baby never was. Services were held at dawn near the crash site. Hundreds of thousands of spectators gave their respects to their hero and savior as the mysterios baby was given the traditional unbodied burial of a soldier.

Who will ever be able to protect our citizens from danger now? Who will be the one that gives us comfort when times seem dire and the world is helpless? We will never know.

Found: New Reporter For The Daily Poop!

We all shouted a grand "hoorah" when the shoes of our newest member of the Daily Poop team stepped into the main office of the printing room.

To take the place of our fallen comrad, James E. Garfield, Locke Cole has made the oath to never let our readers down and to provide only the most extraordinary news stories in the entire world.

Locke Cole has had a history of treasure hunting and extreme espionage which he used to take down the imperial army/empire. Kefka, the dark leader of the empire, fell to his knees before Locke, after a fierce battle had waged. With the evil intentions of this vile emperor, Locke had no proglem in making a swift end to him, armed, the entire time, with only a Knife. He was later starred in the video game "Final Fantasy 6" as himself.

With the skills of out new reporter, our stories will be better, longer and more intense than any story that we have ever had. As of May 11, we will be further uncovering the secrets of the Banks Farm and the Flying Baby. Other stories will also be uncovered by our exclusive team of reporters.

We cannot let the rest of our team sit in the dark whil Locke gobbles up the glory, so here is the rest of out hard working team

Locke Cole: Treasure hunter and master thief.
Kayla Wolf: Expert in the fields of parapsychology and breaker the first clues of the Banks Farm
Gregory Ozwoth Hughes: Food specialist and expert in eating food.
Fox A. Blade: Although the oddest member of our team being as his name states, he is our animal specialist and telecommunicator.
Thundarr Gunnukilleue: Master interrigator, has never failed in bringing out the truth in even the most stubborn of people.
And finally, your writer, me, Mr. Snails. Old man on lotsa caffene.

I hope that it will not be an inconvenience that we have you on the edge of yout seat for another two days while our reportes come back from their missions of gaining important knowledge.

Be here when we give the story of the Banks exorcism whick Lock and Kyla have been assigned to. Until then, goodnight friend reader.

Adolescant Discovers Amazing Gift at Age 14

Even the great Superman could never compare to what this astounding eighth grader can perform with just the slightest twitch of his eye.

"We were running low on yukburger surprise, then he came around the corner and 'Poof', we were in full supply again."

All that littl Oscar Neophragm did was look at a fun silver tray of phun and surprise.

Neurologists that have studied this amazing child are calling his feat "Meat Vision" compared to Superman's "Heat Vision".

Practitioners of neurology and anthropology have never in their lives seen anything like it. Just one glance at something and it's a leg of lamb or a bloody rump roast. But in a series of unexplainable events, there have been reports of actual people becoming victimized by this bizarre phenominon.

Unfortunately, this power has fallen into the wrong hands. Late saturday morning, Oscar was kidnapped by terrorists. The secratary of defence states that they commited this evil crime in order to use his power to convert everyone into meat until the U.S. govornment gave into their demands of world power and domination of the Hawiian islands. Speculations also claim that they want free candy along with major doses of diuretics for the elders and children of their fallen countries that have so well adapted to self destruction and public decapitations of foreign people.

The boy with the amazing gift is promised to be given back to his worry stricken mother who waits anxiously in her closet eating a full supply of snikers bars and ice cream sandwiches while she poders her lost sons condition.

There have been only a few clues as to where the boy could be. One of them is an odd phone number that goes as follows: 867-5309. There was also an empty bag of "Jussi Pussi" bread and a used condom with the words "Saddam was gay with me" written in pemanent marker.